4 questions they should ask before you go through pelvic floor therapy
I don’t remember my entire conversation with my Somatic Experiencing practitioner the other day. But I do remember her saying she thought I had changed and grown since I began coming to her. (By the way, Somatic Experiencing is a “body-oriented therapeutic model that helps heal trauma and other stress disorders,” according to Somatic Experiencing International.)
I told her I thought I was braver.
I told her I thought I was improving at setting boundaries, especially in my intimate life.
I told her I thought I was getting better at saying “no” or speaking up when I was not ready for something.
I told her I thought I was improving at listening to my body. She nodded and smiled.
When I first went to pelvic floor therapy a few years ago, the therapist asked if it was OK to do an internal exam. I hesitantly said, “Yes,” when every bone in my body screamed, “No.” I could still remember my shaking teenage self laying on the exam table half naked while I underwent an excruciatingly painful pelvic exam.
Looking back to my first pelvic floor appointment, I wish I had listened to my body, said “No,” and talked to her about my genuine concerns and fears.
If you’re considering pelvic floor therapy, perhaps ask yourself these questions first before you get to your appointment:
Do you think you might benefit from Somatic Experiencing and Rolfing first? (Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about this therapy until after pelvic floor therapy was over. But when I left I was still dealing with a lot of trauma, including trauma from pelvic floor therapy (and not dealing with the trauma from my teen years, etc. first.) I think Somatic Experiencing could have been helpful to start before pelvic floor therapy and continue it during therapy. Just a note, Somatic Experiencing is not covered by my insurance. It might not be covered by yours either, so that’s worth checking. But it’s been worth the investment!
Are you currently seeing a mental health therapist? How comfortable are they with dealing with trauma, sex and intimacy issues, etc.? (They asked this one, but I wanted to include it for everyone out there considering pelvic floor therapy. I was seeing a therapist throughout pelvic floor therapy, but I had to change therapists a couple of times to find one that helped me really deal with my issues.)
How comfortable are you with me doing a pelvic/internal exam on a scale of 1-10? “1” being “totally uncomfortable.” I think I might have been braver about answering with “1,” than having to answer a “Yes” or “no” question. I might even advise therapists to ask a couple of questions to ensure the patient is comfortable and ready.
Are you sure that you’re ready for pelvic floor therapy - here’s what it could entail - months and months of internal exams, an hour of a therapist stretching that area internally, dilator homework at home? (For me, it took several weeks just to become comfortable seeing the dilators in the same room. You may need to just get comfortable seeing them. My mental health therapist helped me with this, and I rewarded myself with candy.)